hobby · life

Old New Friend  

So I’ve gone back to playing Final Fantasy 14…

This time I am playing very casually though! I really can’t dedicate the time required to be a decent player but it’s nice to plod and and enjoy the game at a leisurely pace.

And I’m not playing as my old character either. I’ve purposely rolled a new account too so I can break away from the old Paru. Too many memories were built into the previous Paru that a fresh start was what I really needed. It’s a new version of my character, starting with the basics and earning her way towards (hopefully) being a decent monk.

The last time I played was just before my mother’s full diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer. I was already in a slump, falling behind the group and really not feeling any envoy enjoyment when I tried to contribute. I was also having a terrible case of writer’s block and horrible anxiety pangs whenever I tried to write or edit anything,  which affected my ongoing adventure blog.  So once my mum’s cancer was confirmed, I knew that I couldn’t dedicate time to the game and I closed my account. Walking away felt incredible. 

I won’t even pretend that I regretted it, as much as I loved my character I didn’t love her history or the continued feeling of failure looming over me. She was great fun and I’ll always treasure the amazing times I had playing her, but she’s gone now. 

I’ve been playing most of today, just doing story quests and general fannying about and it’s been really relaxing. Something I truly never thought I could say about the game! Running around Ul’Dah has been very nostalgic, it’s like going to a beloved childhood holiday destination when you’re a grown up! 

(The new and possibly improved Paru)

I don’t know how long I’ll play for, I’m on the free trial until level 35 so we shall see.

But it is very nice to be back!

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