Not LITERALLY, but more for an enjoyable reason! The purpose of this blog was to encourage me to try enjoy writing again and so far its been a slow process. I don’t do this for any personal gain nor do I expect it to ever flourish into anything more than a hobby for me, but I enjoy it when the moment takes me.
But I have really had to push myself in recent times to open the laptop up and hammer out a post. That is not the purpose of this blog at all! I don’t want to feel pressured by myself to write something, as this takes the enjoyment away for me.
So after a little rooting around, I have found an app called Paperblanks Journal Prompts.
You customise it towards the things you want to write about and by tapping the screen, it brings up potential titles for you to create a post about.
So I have had a little play about with it and I have found a topic I feel happy discussing:
One thing I wish I could change about my past is…
My education. When I was a teenager, I really did not value the importance of getting good grades. I never really felt the need to study or to try hard at school, and if I am honest I really do not know why. My parents did not pressure me into getting good grades or to even focus on studies for that matter. I was not a natural good student, I had a pretty poor attendance rate and if I am honest I was bullied pretty severely both in primary and high school. I struggled outside of school too, with continual comparison to my older sister, who is extremely intelligent and worked very hard to become successful.
But that is no excuse! I SHOULD have worked harder! Teenage me wasn’t stupid, she was just very lazy and felt no pressure to actually do something with her life. The first time I actually felt the NEED to succeed was at college. I attended an Access to Degree studies course, which would allow me to attend University. I was determined to make sure I got into university so I could prove to myself I was worthy and that I was not stupid.
And as soon as I got into uni, I became lazy again. Maybe I am a shitty student? I completed my designated degree in 3 years and returned to the world of full time employment.
I have attended evening classes at University since for criminal psychology and Japanese, which I absolutely love. Maybe I just had to grow up before I could appreciate the gift that is education? I am not sure. I think I fear being challenged in an area I am not sure of, I like my comfort zone but at the same time I crave stepping outside of it to test the waters.
Messing up my education has not held me back, but I wish younger Carly had appreciated the importance of education. Some people do not have the pillage to get an education, and it is something I do treasure. I just wish I had been a better student and proved to myself sooner I was capable. I plan to return to education for a 3rd year in Japanese this autumn, hopefully the classes will be up soon so I can get registered.